Monday, April 11, 2011

A Teenager's Thoughts On Losing His Cousin To Abortion

Abortion destroys people.

Something we don't hear enough about is how many people are affected when just one child loses his or her life through abortion. We hear so many false notions from those involved in the killing, which seek to justify ending a human life, but we don't hear enough about the unfathomable harm abortion inflicts upon humanity.

Abortion not only ends the life of an innocent child, or children in the case of multiples; abortion's staggering impact is manifest in the extinguishing of all the potential lives of those who were to come from the aborted child's lineage. How many people could that be in just one child's case? Abortion impacts our future, not just our present.

Abortion has very serious consequences for the living as well, and not just for the parents of the aborted child(ren), but also for siblings, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors... Abortion is a destroyer of lives. It doesn't JUST kill an unborn baby. Abortion harms every single living person.

Every act of abortion is a crime against the entire human family.

We rarely hear from children about abortion. Some parents make the grave mistake of not discussing abortion, in developmentally appropriate ways, with their children. If our children are not taught that abortion is wrong, someone else may convince them that murder is right. A child will die, the people from their lineage will have no chance to exist, and there will be suffering among the living.

In the story "Remembering Sydney," the author shared her experience of the morning she told her children about a cousin they had never known or heard of, a child who had been aborted before they were born. She profoundly stated, "In failing to talk about the child's death, we were not able to talk about the child's life. It was as if he or she never existed."

How many children have lost their lives to abortion and are never mentioned, by anyone. How utterly horrible that the memory of someone's existence should be wiped out in the name of women's rights, or for any reason whatsoever. The secrecy imposed by remorse, guilt, pain, and shame perpetuates the harm, leaving family members to continue suffering in silence, or worse, existing in denial and pretending that things can go on as they did before. The truth is that killing changes people.

Every person is created in the image and likeness of God. He loves every single eternal soul into being. Do not let anyone ever convince you that there is such a thing as an "unwanted" pregnancy. Every human life is created by God and is wanted by Him!

We are to welcome our children, and love and nurture them, not kill them.

What are we doing??

God's love should find its first expression within our families.

Abortion chooses death in place of life.

We must combat the lies very effectively marketed to us by the extremely profitable abortion industry and insist on the truth. Let's finally, finally end the colossal, global humanitarian disaster of legalized abortion and euthanasia.

As a means to that end, I approached the author of "Remembering Sydney" and inquired if she would consider asking her children to write about what it was like to learn that a family member of theirs had been aborted, and their thoughts on what abortion means to them as children.

Over 42 million babies are killed by the abortion procedure worldwide each year. Abortion is not an isolated incident, it is a global tragedy that has impacted millions and millions and millions of people. As in all deaths, the process of grieving those who have died is also necessary when the death occurred by abortion. Often times this does not happen, and it needs to happen for healing to take place.

Many family members never even consider the importance of grieving after a child is lost to abortion. One of the reasons is because the abortion industry works very hard to convince people in vulnerable situations into believing that abortion is a healthy solution to the "problem" of unplanned pregnancies. They are dead wrong. Profiting from killing children and then telling people the death is in their best interest is absolutely evil. "But they care about women," you say. Help that kills isn't help at all. Anyone who takes part in a death by abortion, and then justifies the child's death to the parents instead of truly helping them, commits a grave crime against humanity.

When did we become so gullible, America?

True love leads to life.

It is astounding to think that just one generation ago, parents in general welcomed children gratefully and selflessly. How many grandparents have told me "None of our children were planned!" People married and welcomed babies as part of their marriage covenant, which also included God. It still should. Our perceptions have changed a lot in one generation, but the Truth remains the same. God commanded us, "Thou shalt not kill" and He hasn't changed His mind. God is pro-life, and we must be, too.

The abortion industry has altered a significant portion of the American public's perception with their self-serving lies into believing that abortion solves problems and helps people! Nothing could be farther from the truth. The reality is that killing babies solves nothing. In fact, it creates many more problems for many more people.

At the end of this post is a link for those whose lives have been harmed by abortion and are living with emotional and spiritual pain and remorse. If you are one of them, know that help and healing are available. The need to grieve the lost child is real and necessary. The need for forgiveness to obtain peace is vital. Healing is essential for one's health and welfare. Be assured that there is no situation in which God is absent.

Sidney's oldest cousin volunteered to write down his thoughts and share them with us. "Matthew" is in high school and was in high school when he first learned about the cousin he never knew of.

Here are his thoughts:

I woke up one winter morning to the smell of a Saturday breakfast. On Saturdays mom always cooks an awesome breakfast with ham, bacon, eggs, etc. I got dressed and went to my brother’s room and jumped on him to wake him up. I didn’t want to wake up my other brother and sister since they tend to get angry when you wake them up so I went down stairs.

I walked up to my mom, said good morning in my tired, unenthusiastic tone. I hugged my mom and then went to the table and sat to wait for everyone else to come to the table.
I guess that my brother had woken up the other two because the three of them all came downstairs at once. As they sat down at the table with our dad, mom told us that we could start eating. We began our feast and not long after, Mom seemed upset. Then, she began to cry.

She told us that we had a cousin who was alive before she and dad were married and before any of us were born. The baby’s life was short though, because it was aborted before it was born. I was too shocked to say anything. I could never have imagined that this could have happened, especially not in our family. She explained how our uncle and his girlfriend made a wrong decision and that the baby was conceived from their actions. The couple had the defenseless baby aborted without my family’s consent.

This made me mad and confused. Why would you kill your own child? Was it fear that made them choose to do that? Was it their guilt that caused them to make that decision? Those may have been their reasons, but there is no reason good enough to excuse killing an innocent life.
I wish I could go back in time and save my cousin. I wish I could do something, anything, to change this. I know that my cousin is dead but I can still make a difference. I can pray for my cousin and his/her parents. I can also speak out against abortion by going to abortion clinics and praying the Rosary there.

It may be too late to save my cousin, but I can save others from this horrible fate. We all need to stand up against the evil of abortion.
Abortion used to be a thing that I saw as a horror that happened to others, but it never was something that happened to someone I know, which made it hard for me to understand. Now I know that abortion has personally affected my family and me. Along with countless others we are all victims of abortion. Our hearts long for this tragedy to end.

We are fighting another war in America but this war’s battlefield is in our own country. We are killing ourselves and our own fellow Americans. It is a civil war where one side can’t defend itself. We need to protect the babies that have not been born yet. They cannot protect themselves so we must defend them.
We need to protect all life, not just the lives of famous people or those with high prestige. Every life has value, every life has a purpose, and every life needs to be protected.

"Matthew" and his siblings decided to name their cousin, and chose "Sydney."

Thank you, "Matthew," for sharing your valuable insight with us. I hope that my generation does not leave it for yours to do what is right and end legalized abortion and euthanasia, but there sure is a global need for help and healing that your generation will inherit from the errors of mine.

If you or anyone you know
is in need of a place
to renew, rebuild, and redeem
a heart that has been broken by abortion,
in an environment of emotional and spiritual safety,
please visit:

To learn more about how Rachel's Vineyard
can help you or someone you know,
please visit:

To learn more about Lumina, visit:

If you or someone you know is considering an abortion,
please call: